White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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