Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just got carded by a ten year old.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
