she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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