I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
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The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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