Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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