Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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