i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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