i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wannas sexs uuuuu
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize