I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
