what if every blade of grass was a penis?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
