Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Randomize
