I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
