marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just forgot I was standing up.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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