Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
