Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
