the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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