There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
