Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We need to rekindle our bromance
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
