There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
