This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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