I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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