It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
