Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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