Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
