He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
