you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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