flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Even my vagina gasped.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
