I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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