My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize