I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
