There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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