she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
