I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
