if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
