Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
