Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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