I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
