Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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