So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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