We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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