I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
