i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize