i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
