Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
