Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
