I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
