We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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