Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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