It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You can't motorboat a personality
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
be right there i have to get my cape
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
