just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
