guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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