the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
