I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize