did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
