Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize