also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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