ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
