He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
where are my eyebrows?
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