let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize