:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
