moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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