he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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