I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
