If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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