at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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